AWD, In The Press, Music That Doesn't Suck, Random Posts

AWD’S GOING TO SAY IT….I CAN’T STAND BOB DYLAN’S MUSIC! OPEN POST

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SUCKS!

Bob Dylan won a Nobel Prize today for Literature. Why am I not surprised. Hell, Hussein won one too so it can’t be that hard. Since AWD is about to head out with the Filly to waste a pile of my disposable cash American (payday, baybah!), I dug up this old chart-topper from about three years ago about Dylan and his crappiness. He was awarded the Nobel Prize by none other than Jimmy Carter who refuses to die. He’s got to be pushing 200. What is it with old libtards? I’m afraid they’ll have to shoot Carter and Dylan on Judgement Day to get rid of them!

Note: AWD no longer has Sirius in his F-150 because verily I say unto you, it sucketh. Spotify, man.

AWD has Sirius radio in his supa-sexy, supa-badass F150 for a while and I’m usually listening to Channel 60, the honky tonk station if I’m listening. I don’t know why I pay for Sirius when Dallas has 95.3 The Range blasting Texas country 24/7 for free. But, what the hell. The only thing better than honky tonk is more honky tonk.

I will say that Channel 60 on Sirius generally plays good stuff. A lot of Merle. Say no more. But I would gladly rip the intestines out of their stupid, stereotypical, fake redneck Southern DJs. First there’s Elizabeth Cook. If there’s a more put-on, Southern accent more than hers, I have not heard it. It’s so damn twangy and fake I just turn the volume down whenever she’s yapping about something meaningless in her uber-annoying, fake Southern twang. AWD is a Southerner (thank God!) and grew up in the South and has yet to hear a Southern accent like Elizabeth Cook’s. She’s probably from Ohio.

Then there’s the “booger-eating moron” Mojo Nixon who comes on in the afternoon. Nixon is so annoying he would make Jesus cuss. And I’m not talking about the Jesus that cuts your grass. His schtick is the out-of-control, retarded honky tonk music lover too stupid to live in a trailer park. That I believe even though he’s probably from Ohio too.

I can envision a bunch of half-a-sissy, yankee Sirius executives who think they must put morons like Cook and Nixon on Channel 60 because that’s how Southerners talk. They’ve been watching Duck Dynasty and the Hog Hunting fake-tards and believe that’s what the South is like. I actually called Sirius once to complain that I won’t renew my subscription if Sirius doesn’t fire those bad stereotype tools they have as DJ’s on Channel 60. The guy that took my call was from India. He told me to reformat my computer.

For a honky tonk station, Channel 60 on Sirius plays a whole hell of a lot of Bob Dylan. That sh*t ain’t right! When AWD thinks honky tonk, Bob Dylan doesn’t come to mind. Merle, Willie, Dale Watson, Gary P Nunn, Billy Joe Shaver, Waylon, David Allen Coe and others come to mind. But Bob Dylan? Not even close!

Not only is Dylan not honky tonk but I’ve come to the conclusion that Dylan’s music pretty much sucks el grande uno! Yeah, yeah, I know he was important to hippies back in the 60’s but hippies aren’t exactly welcome around true honky tonk music locales! At least not here in Texas.

Any decent song Dylan has ever written was covered way better by someone else! All Along The Watchtower was rocked by Jimi Hendrix. Dylan’s version bit the big one. Dylan’s version of Absolutely Sweet Marie is worse than bad but Jason and the Nashville Scorchers tore it up.

Now, AWD has forgotten more about good music than most of y’all goat ropers will ever know. Everyone knows that. But it’s time to stop pretending that Bob Dylan is anything more than major suckage. And he sure as hell ain’t honky tonk!

So there! AWD has said it. Bob Dylan just sucks as a performer. Yeah, he has written a few good songs over the past 100 years but he doesn’t have the talent to make them listenable. I will be happy to fight any tortured hippies who disagree!

So you’re free to vent your spleen about what’s troubling your right-wing extremist souls tonight. But don’t defend Bob Dylan or you’re going to get your ass whooped.

Here’s an example of Absolutely Sweet Marie from Dylan and then from Jason and his Nashville Scorchers for Music That Sucks and Music That Doesn’t Suck.

Here’s the sucky Dylan verion:

What the hell was that?? Now here’s Jason and the boys tearing it up:

No damn comparison! Now that’s some goodern’ hell stuff! Six white horses!

Shee-ut! That put the Big Sexy in the mood for some more Jason and the Scorchers! Here’s a live performance of Broken Whiskey Glass in front of a bunch of Englishters. Wait until the rock kicks in, you’ll thank me. For anyone who never saw Jason and the boys (AWD did once!), they simply tore it up!

Jason, get your ass down to Dallas!

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28 Comments

  1. In 1979, I would listen continuously to Damn the Torpedos. In 1981, following the release of Hard Promisies by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, I realized TP had started to sing like Dylan. I hate Dylan. Now I dive for the dial or device ever time I hear TP start to sing.

  2. Dude, you are a deplorable moronic booger eating troglodyte. You are too stupid to see that a pussified joo from Minnesota can move to NYC(the Mecca of the tribe, irony intended) change his name to mimic a Welsh poetic genius and become the new messiah; is considered perfectly normal in our post-Orwellian dystopia. My favorite part is when Dylan became a Jesus freak and then decided ( after nobody bought his records and the powerful tribe members told him to f-off) that it was all irony. Kind of reminds me of Kristofferson. Let’s face facts, we’re on our own, the idiots rule. I’ll take Waylon!

  3. For almost 40 years, I have been amazed at the popularity of Bob Dylan. Seriously – amazed. As a musician who composes my own melodies, I study the structure of Bob Dylan’s melodies, and to call them simple is an understatement. As for his lyrics, even though I don’t possess the skills to write them, I recognize good lyrics from bad. And, again, I am amazed at the praise he garners from people.

    I once listened to Bob Dylan being interviewed and taking questions from callers on a station out of Chicago. Every time a caller complimented Dylan, Dylan would highly insult the caller and ask him, “Why do you think I give a damn whether or not you like my material?” I couldn’t believe my ears. It seemed to me that the callers were to mesmerized to realize he was insulting them at every turn. Or, maybe the callers thought it was an honor to be belittled and insulted by Bob Dylan. I just thought, “What an asshole!”

  4. Mike Radant

    Why not give the non-talented plagiarizer a Nobel PC Prize? They gave one to Obama for being a negro!

  5. You overlooked “Like A Rolling Stone”. Not Nobel material by any means, but still one of the all time best.

    Badco

  6. Laura Wesselmann

    When I found out out “All along the watchtower” was penned by Dylan, I was shocked. I did like “Tangled up in blue” and “Knocking on Heaven’s Door”. I enjoyed Three Dog Night a whole lot more.

  7. Dylan’t two note, nasal voice makes me want to commit seppuku any time I hear it.

    “AWD is a Southerner (thank God!) and grew up in the South and has yet to hear a Southern accent like Elizabeth Cook’s. She’s probably from Ohio.”

    As an Ohioan on the border of Ken-tuk-ay, you either speak with a neutral accent, or you speak with a white trash accent. NOT southern. (If you live a couple counties up, the white trash thing intensifies. God help you if you enter Middletown or Dayton. Or, if you live in Cincinnati, you get the ghetto thug thing. Ugh.)

    I crossed the Ohio river once to Ken-tuk-ay to see some reyl-a-tiyeves, and I swear, I had to ask them to repeat them selves three times to figure out what the hell they were saying!

  8. Dylan an oddity pushed on everyone, ” a voice of a generation ” even he didn’t believe that. All these years later it shows on his face, pure embarrassment. Dylan knows he is a bad joke.

    Robert Allen Zimmerman wanted to be Guthrie, the same way Springsteen and Petty want to be Dylan.

    It’s all too silly.

    • The Jokers haven’t stopped joking… Ever heard Rap or Hip Hop?

      They keep trying to convince us that shit taste good, and whether you use white bread or brown bread, it’s still a crap sammich.

  9. Only thing worse than his music was his politics. The guy was a real left wing puke blossom.

  10. The Nobel prize no longer means anything..Yassir Arafat..got a peace prize from them..Another well known fag..Bathhouse Barry got one for no reason whatsoever.

  11. Here’s my tribute to Bob Dylan: MEH.

    I can’t say I’d reach for the dial when I’d hear him come on the radio for the simple fact that I never listen to radio(for the same reasons AWD mentions regarding DJs).

    I will say that if you can’t stand him now, wait till he drops dead. The hagiographies will sickeningly, syrupy, vomit inducingly maudlin. And never ending.

  12. Bob Dylan, basically wrote nursery rhymes for stoners.

  13. Keep Honkin, I'm Reloading

    Dude. Hit Ed up on gmail brother. I dumped assfacebook.

  14. Deplorable Mike

    Bob Dylan? Uggghhh…schmendrick.

  15. fred kramer

    i don’t hate dylan quite as much as some of you guys, but i will say this; the only movie that i’ve ever walked out of in my life, was some concert movie. from back in the ’70’s. anyway, it was ok until dylan got his turn to perform, and it sounded like a tom cat with his balls caught trying to jump a chain link fence. it actually gave me a headache,

    • I don’t hate him Fred. I just can’t stand the type of society that would raise such a mediocre talent to this level. Plus how in the world are his sophomoric lyrics considered literature? Rhetorical, requires no response. Same as my feelings for Obama voters.

  16. He was over promoted by his Hostile Elite Tribe to dissemble and destroy the White Christian youth from patriotism, fertility, tradition, and racial pride and solidarity. He is a weaponized Jew.

  17. I CANNOT EVEN NAME A BOB DYLAN SONG…I LIKE ME SOME CLASSIC COUNTRY MERLE , WAYLON , THE CDB , HANK SR. AND JR. , AND THE LIST GOES ON , BUT BOB DYLAN AIN’T IN THE GROUP….SOME PEOPLE ARE GREAT WRITERS OTHERS ARE GREAT PERFORMERS AND A FEW ARE BOTH…I LIKE ME SOME SOUTHERN ROCK TOO…

  18. Pickled Liver

    Thank you ! I remember during high school everyone telling me how cool Dylan was – and I always thought his music sucked. One good song does not make a star !

  19. Timmy T. Bone

    A redneck Yankee here and I have always hated Bob Dylan. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think he was country singer. Always thought he was just another hack left over from the baby boomers incessant worship of everything from the 60s ie. another acid dropping stoned hippie preaching about getting stoned, getting laid, the man and the incessant rambling of someone who has never worked a day in their life. Thats Bob Dylan.

    I dont think the man can sing. I dont care what the media says. His voices is the equivalent of nails on a chalk board. Garbled, incoherent with no tone. He comes on the radio station and channel changing happens. As for the so-called magical lyrics and the voice of a generation? Really whats so magical about them.

    You guys taught me something new. Didnt know he was a member of the special group that you are not allowed to criticize. Per Wikipedia:

    “Bob Dylan was born Robert Allen Zimmerman (Hebrew name שבתאי זיסל בן אברהם [Shabtai Zisl ben Avraham])[2][3] in St. Mary’s Hospital on May 24, 1941, in Duluth, Minnesota,[4][5] and raised in Hibbing, Minnesota, on the Mesabi Range west of Lake Superior. He has a younger brother, David. Dylan’s paternal grandparents, Zigman and Anna Zimmerman, emigrated from Odessa, in the Russian Empire (now Ukraine), to the United States following the anti-Semitic pogroms of 1905.[6] His maternal grandparents, Ben and Florence Stone, were Lithuanian Jews who arrived in the United States in 1902.[6] In his autobiography, Chronicles: Volume One, Dylan wrote that his paternal grandmother’s maiden name was Kirghiz and her family originated from Kağızman district of Kars Province in northeastern Turkey.[7]”

  20. Capt. Mark G Vancil, USMC

    AWD, the Nobels, all except the peace prize are Swedish. Only the peace prize is Norwegian. Sweden felt bad that the dumb Norwegians had nothing so they made up this peace prize and gave it to them to dole out. To reiterate, the peace prize is separate and distinct from the Swedish Nobels for Lit,
    sci, Math, etc.

    Having said that, this bestowment has to be a quirk or alas, politics have entered the Swedish Nobel realm. Best, Big Swede

  21. HAHA! Now Dylan won’t return NPP people’s phone calls!

  22. Who is boob dylan?
    real name is shlomo shecklestein

  23. I’m not sure what Dylan’s politics are now. But some of his tunes were quite appropo for this election.

    I listened to this fairly frequently in 2016 – https://vimeo.com/52383325

    But Dylan ain’t no Waylon! Hell, Billy Joe Shaver was more deserving of a Nobel……..

  24. One who can see

    Bob Dylan has a terrible voice and is not a good guitarist. I have never understood his fame. I guess his lyrics speak to hippies and SWPL. All they same to me is blah, blah, blah, whine, whine, whine.

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