illegal alien costume

We all know how inconvenient and frustrating it can be going through TSA security checkpoints at the airport! And no one likes having their tingly parts felt up by a $7 an hour TSA goon who was fired from Taco Bell a few days ago! Well, don’t wait in line like a common American citizen! There’s no reason to suffer all those hassles and indignities now that Big Sexy Products, Inc has introduced the ‘ILLEGAL ALIEN IN A MINUTO’ TSA AIRPORT DISGUISE™!

Now that the TSA has admitted to allowing illegal aliens to board airplanes in los Estados Unidos with only a Notice To Appear (I-862) form and no other identification, time-savvy Americans now can avoid inconvenient, long TSA lines with hot, sweaty American taxpayers, waiting to present their TSA-approved identification and get a TSA agent’s finger in their butt!


  • One legitimate I-862 Notice To Appear form with authentic signature from a Democrat appointed immigration judge!
  • For those flying out of Texas, One authentic disposable poncho pre-soaked in actual water from the Rio Grande so you won’t be confused with any of those American citizen and be forced to wait in line. TSA will think you just floated the Rio Grande momentos before! Bienvenidos, Peedro!
  • For our customers in Western states, One authentic poncho covered with our exclusive “Essence of Sonora Desert” dust! You’ll smell like a combination of Saguaro cactus and rotting animal carcass to fool even the wiliest of TSA agents! (actual lifelike cactus needles available at additional cost)
  • One pre-completed Democrat Party registration card and addresses to dozens of polling places and welfare offices
  • A book of common phrases used by real illegal aliens like:
  1. Si Se Puede con Obama!
  2. Yo quiero Taco Bell!
  3. I don’t need no steenkin’ ID!
  4. Racista!
  • One Ricky Martin “Livin’ La Vida Loca” cassette
  • An authentic teddy bear and soccer ball personally autographed by Glenn Beck
  • One t-shirt that says “Jeb Boosh Es Mi Vato!”
  • Operational instructions for a Toro Ultra leaf blower

Think of all the time in lines and aggravation you’ll avoid with your disguise! Once you have put on your ‘ILLEGAL ALIEN IN A MINUTO’ TSA AIRPORT DISGUISE™, you’ll be able to board your plane before all those gringos and join real illegal aliens sipping champagne in their First Class seats! All compliments of gringo taxpayers! You’ll scream “Ay yi yi yi yiiiii” in joy after avoiding the long TSA lines, strip searches with intrusive body cavity probings, and the complimentary upgrade to First Class!

All this can be yours for the low, low price of $49.99!  Sorry, no Pesos accepted.

With your disguise, the joy of flying in America will take on a whole new meaning! If you get questioned by TSA, all you’ll have to do is yell out “RACISTA!” and you’ll soon be on your way!

Remember, it only takes a minuto to avoid horas in line with common American travelers! You deserve better! Save yourself time, aggravation, and the fingers of TSA agents in your culo! Don’t wait until manana, get your ‘ILLEGAL ALIEN IN A MINUTO’ TSA AIRPORT DISGUISE today! From Big Sexy Products, Inc.


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  1. Spurwing Plover says:

    From Illegal aliens to demacratic voters and supporters truly the demacrats are traitors and scum suckers

  2. Mr. Rational says:

    AWD, in the absence of voting on the post proper you need to start adding a “tipjar” comment on these things.  These satirical pieces of yours are hilarious and deserve some means of approbation other than “me too” remarks (like this one).

  3. Funny take on a frighteningly f’d up situation!

    PS – did some quick research. Average salary for a TSA agent is $57.000/yr, or about $30/hr!!! – not $7.
    Nice use of taxpayers hard earned money, huh.

    • Joe Stalin says:

      The biggest waste of money has got to be all these Federales working at BATF and DHS. It’s amazing to see ATF showing up at all manner of LOCAL crimes, including a house fire, and ALWAYS, the head ATF Asshole in Chicago ALWAYS pushing for more gun control. When the NATO conference showed up in Chicago back in 2012, so did DHS vehicles Downtown Chicago.

      EVERY SINGLE VEHICLE FROM DHS WAS A SUV. Not a sedan amongst them.

      These people are spending your tax money and feathering their nests like Chicago school teachers.

      • Agreed.
        When you look around at all the ways that the gov blows money, the fact that everything hasn’t completely collapsed yet is a miracle!
        It’s hard to imagine how taxpayers (and their printing press) can provide enough to cover it all.
        It’s insane!

  4. Spurwing Plover says:

    Obama and his fellow traitors opens the henhouse to the foxes more and more each day the call for Obama’s impeachment grow louder and louder its just the news media are ignoring it all while they kiss obama’s rings and anoint his feet with oil and bow to him all the time for he is their phaoro and their messiah

  5. AWD I’m gonna need an unaccompanied minor to fool the sheeple into thinking I’m legit. Maybe a Jesus or Moses.

  6. you are so funny ..this is the truth about preferred illegals .. eff me

  7. I want one. I fly from Phx. all the time so no questions asked!