Bubba Clintoon has long been known for creative cigar tricks. But now it’s been revealed he likes them expensive smokes! For a broke-ass former President and continued horndog pre-vert, Bubba likes sucking down them $1,000 a pop ropes! I wonder if EBT cards work for cigars? No wonder Bubba has Hitlery out on the rubber cankles tour charging $250,000 to give one of her lame speeches. That’s 250 cigars for Bubba for 30 minutes of Hitlery’s lies.
Reportedly, Bubba’s favorite stick is the Gurkha HMR which goes for 25 big ones a box! I think HMR stands for Horny Monica Rapist.
Since Bubba and the little lady are now destitute, Bubba is introducing the Bill Clinton Presidential Gurkha Cigar collection to make ends meet. The cigars come in several sizes:
- The ‘Little Weenie’ for a quick smoke and quicker foreplay
- The ‘Clinton Kink‘ which is a 5 1/2″ stick with a distinct dogleg in it. Just like Bubba’s man thang!
- The ‘Intern’ which is an excellent smoke and also doubles for a sex toy
- The ‘John Holmes’ which is a tribute to the former porn star. The length and ring gauge is DAYUM!
The Bill Clinton Presidential Gurkha Cigar collection is different from other cigars because of a special proprietary coating made up of…..well, you don’t want to know. The cigars come wrapped in a special Trojan Connecticut latex wrapper to avoid those pesky STDs. The Bill Clinton Presidential Gurkha Cigar Collection is being rolled on exclusively on the thighs of Nicaraguan virgins personally inspected by the former President. Well, they WERE virgins!
The Clinton Cigar collection is currently in production but will be available soon to exclusive cigar retailers like Dallas Discount Cigars. Sign up for their newsletter and you’ll be the first to enjoy fine cigars just like Bubba. Well, maybe not JUST like Bubba. You may prefer to actually smoke yours!